During the recording of the last No Quarters it dawned on us that we were recording on a day that many in the video gaming world would regard as a day of high esteem. A red letter day, if you will. We recorded on the day that a new Halo game came out. And yet, there we were not playing it. How could we continue with our lives not playing this obvious masterpiece? Turns out, a lot of people weren’t playing it.
What do I mean? Didn’t this game sell like 4 brazilian copies on launch day? Weren’t people lined up around the block waiting to get their hands on it? Answers: all yes. Turns out though that a quick glance at my friends list on Xbox Live showed only two people playing it out of fourteen online. Is this a fair and balanced examination? Perhaps not, but I will say this about that. My friends list is probably unlike a lot of other people’s. I added people based on social sites I visit, people I know in the real world and very few that have been added as a result of a game I was playing at the time. It seems to me that most people’s lists are made up of a majority of people met playing a game online. Stands to reason that if you play Halo constantly and add people from that, you’re bound to have a friend’s list playing nothing but Halo on launch day so your results may vary. I, however, have seldom seen games dominate my friends list. The notable exceptions are GTA IV, Red Dead Redemption and Gears of War 2. Halo: Reach didn’t come close to even a majority of people on my friends list. What’s my point? Why am I going on about this? Why do you care? Now I’ll come to my point.
The Halo series has always seemed like one of the few games that seems socially acceptable to admit you play in public. It’s like the safe one to admit you go online and school some fools in, even to your non video game playing girlfriends (imaginary or not). The trouble, to me, is that it seems that devoid of a fiercely loyal minority, nobody actually plays the hours upon hours that everybody claims they do. Why do I even care? Because I came here to say this, “HALO IS OVERRATED.” Always has been. I’m not sure how this mediocre series ever garnered the awe-inspiring flurry of attention that these new releases get. Limited edition consoles, soda flavors, etc etc etc. Why? Is this just a fantastic job of marketing gone completely right? Let’s break it down.
- Halo is a competent first person shooter. Perhaps you could argue that it was the first one to work well on a console. Great. They got the controls right finally with the advent of dual analog stick control. We don’t think back fondly on every game that introduced or perfected a control scheme. You don’t see massive launches for Smash TV 2010 or Track & Field 18.
- “Oh but the story is so amazing!” Is it? It’s an alien invasion plot. That’s about it. That’s like praising Space Invaders for being deep. Honestly, besides Nazis, dragons and zombies, there probably isn’t a more overused plot in video game history. Somebody please tell me the plot of Halo in a concise form. Can you? It’s got more twists than Chubby Checker. These guys are bad, now they’re good, now they’re bad again. I get it. Aliens bad. Space Marines good. Hudson, sir. He’s Hicks. Oh and some people have this hot AI chick inside their heads or something. Side note – Nazi Zombie Dragons – The Game
- The music is some of the best in gaming history. Ok, you win this point, self. The music makes Halo feel like more than the sum of its parts. It is epic. A good soundtrack can go a long way to making you forget what your watching/playing is average at best.
- The game hasn’t changed. Seriously. The game is basically the same game you played on launch day… OF THE XBOX 1. I can hear the fanboys cry out about Forge and this and that and the complexities of pistol power tweaking and that awesome new teabag mechanic… The point is that the base game is exactly the same. This isn’t so much a bad thing except that with this length of time you start to question your need to update. It’s like the Madden of FPS.
- To play online is like a trip to 4chan or Mos Eisley. You’re going to hear things that David Duke wouldn’t say to a group of his closest friends. It’s pretty much destroyed that world for me. I understand there’s a mute button but it’s not a rich enough experience to warrant wading through that type of scum.
With all this said, I suppose I should get to something resembling a review of Halo: Reach. It is, obviously, not my cup of tea. I’d say I got it simply as enough time had passed that I was lured back in by the promise of it being the penultimate Halo experience. I’d liken it to an abusive husband, but instead of violence that you escaped from, it’s mediocrity. I gave it another chance and it turns out it’s still Halo. It’s still that same mundane experience that I’ve had before. It’s the smooth jazz experience. It’s just tame enough to be tolerated without wanting to throw it out. It delights in its very existence and does little to elevate what little it had to offer before. If you’ve enjoyed or had a passing interest in a continuation of this, by all means, go out and get it.
I skipped playing ODST where I have heard the mechanic of non-regenerative health started. This was a new experience for me and I have to say, while it didn’t change the dynamic of gameplay that much, it was a bit of a pain. It seemed like an arbitrary change just to give you the illusion that something was different. From what I do glean from the story, it made sense in the ODST world as you were playing non-Spartan soldiers, but here in Reach it really doesn’t. Why would the almighty Master Chief get shot full of chemicals or given a suit that heals while these Noble Team Spartans were not? Maybe I didn’t read or play enough into the lore to see this explanation but I’m sure it’s written off with the same broad stroke of the pen that makes it convenient to change for change sake and to just borrow from ODST code. Not a big deal in the end, but a small bit irksome.
And lastly, the one positive note I’ve given Halo? The one thing that sets it above countless other shooters on the market? The music. What is with the music in Reach? It is so repetitively boring and lacking in gravitas. As summarized by a conversation between Maki and myself, parts of this soundtrack sound lifted directly from an AdLib soundcard during the age of Dark Forces and the ilk. Not once in my time playing (which admittedly is somewhat limited thus far) did I have that hair-raising sensation that the music of Halo has stirred in me before. It was somber and generic. Completely lacking in the monk chants and taiko drums that symbolize the universe of Halo musically. So now that you’ve taken away the smallest of hooks that Halo had to offer? Needless to say I am not pleased with my Reach experience thus far.
I’ve played every Halo except ODST (even a small amount of Halo Wars) and the only moment I can recount off the top of my head is the part in Halo 3 where you take down the pair of scorpion like tank things. Yes, you’re right, I have no idea what they’re called. I don’t care enough to learn that. That’s a lot of hours running around and shooting dudes to only have one memorable moment pop in my head. I can tell you countless scenarios in Half Life and I haven’t played that in a far longer time than Halo 1. That’s ultimately my point. To anyone who was raised on PC gaming and FPS thereof specifically, the Halo series is a solid C+ on the grading scale. It’s slightly above average but nothing to write home about. That being said, I would give Reach a D+ thus far since it has taken away that one element that set it above the chaff. Now don’t expect me to ever rate a game with something like a score ever again.
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